Suicide. A relief for the sufferer, but a life long pain for loved ones.
I have just read an article regarding a 15 year old boy who has committed suicide as a result of being harrassed and bullied for a whole year. Several thoughts came into my mind when I read this article. Thoughts of disbelief that yet again schools are unaware of such bullying. Thoughts of heartache and sorrow, knowing what it feels like to be constantly bullied, harrassed and harangued day in day out. The reason for this post is that I hope that what I say as a survivor, helps someone one day.
January 2010. The month and year my life changed forever. A silly little game of truth and dare, completely blown out of proportion. A joke, which turned into years of hell. The rumours ran through school like wildfire. They were just that, RUMOURS, because there was no truth to them whatsoever, but who was going to listen. When someone knows something demoralizing about you, even though you think they are your friend, they would much prefer to conform to the norm of the majority, then believe you.
I spent days on my own in my classes, because no-one would sit next to me. I would have taunts said behind me as I walked passed. It’s things like this that first lead you into the realms of paranoia. Once paranoia kicks in so does anxiety up until there came a point where I refused to sit in assemblies, i would just lock myself in the toilets for a whole hour.
Now I may be going on a bit, but there is method in my madness.
Ask yourself this. Have you found yourself feeling like this? Has the thought of suicide been your only legitimate route of escape from life? If your answer to both of these questions is yes then please keep reading.
When you first start to imagine ways of killing yourself is when you need to stop and take 5 minutes to think of these 5 questions?
Why are they saying this abou me, is it true?
How are they different than me?
How am I better? (That list better be long you is AMAZING!)
Who can help me and protect me?
Do I really want my Mum and/or Dad to suffer if I die?
Think about your answers. 10 times out of 10 people chat shit about you because they are incompetent s***heads who are sorry excuses for human beings. Now I may sound like a hypocrite at this point but I am not telling you to tell them that, just think it 😉. What they don’t know won’t hurt them!
You are better because your cleverer, you don’t hurt people and you are generally a lovely person 😘.
You will feel like you can talk to no-one in school, not even teachers because you legitimately think they cannot help you. You just have to pick the right one. Normally your Head of Year or your tutor. Please do speak up because if you don not say something, nothing will happen to change your situation.
If they don’t listen, don’t stop. Tell the police using the non-emergency number. If that doesn’t work go to your nearest pharmacy and discuss your concerns. There are safeguarding policies in place to protect you. Help is always near. Don’t ever give up!
And last but not least. Your loved ones. Suicide doesn’t stop the pain, it just passes it on. Think about how it makes you feel when you see either of your Mum and Dad cry. I will leave it at that.
As someone who has been very close to suicide I can honestly say that it really isn’t worth it. I have a secret. I have a very good job. I cannot disclose what I do, but it gives me great pleasure to see the people who bullied and ostracized me to come into my work place and see that they haven’t done aswell as me in life. I also don’t think I could lose my little brother aswell, I love him too much and I don’t want him to feel any pain. So things do get better. I am living proof of this. No matter what and without a doubt there is help out there. You just need to find someone to help you.
So if you are feeling suicidal right now then find the correct help or even email us on firstname.lastname@example.org if you need any form of help. We will do our best to try and get back to you within 24 hours.
I feel like I have gone on for ages but Suicide is a subject close to my heart and I cannot say it enough. YOU ARE AMAZING!! Simple. I don’t know, you but the fact your living and breathing means you are.
Don’t ever give up. Don’t ever stop. I am living proof that I survived and I is enjoying life right now! Thanks be to God. My saviour! 😁😁😁😁
Until next time 💜💜💜